“First, place oxygen mask over -your- face, and -only then- over your child’s.”

How, much self-care should cancer caregivers get? And how?


Does cancer caregiving sometimes feel "sink or swim" scary?

This week’s Hudson River aircraft crash-landing reminds us of the required flight safety announcement for passengers traveling with children: in the event of emergency, “First, place oxygen mask over your face, and only then over your child’s.” Is that us?

Why should you peel away some prioritization from the consuming challenge of planning and delivering support for your cancer-patient partner? (But, it’s not me with the disease!) Who cares about your energy, joy, or peace? When your priority while traveling the cancer journey is selflessly nurturing your loved one, how can one think about self-nurture?

Why? – because burn-out is bad, for both your cancer patient and you. Who cares? – I bet your care-recipient does. How? – “it depends.”

Why? Because you’ll yield better nurture to your loved one? Because you’ll last longer in the cancer-care marathon? Because you don’t have another choice, but to pause and re-gather your personal resources? All of the above?

Among the many mental surprises I’ve received in my un-sought role as cancer concierge, is admonitions from cancer-veteran friends who’ve previously trod the same path. They’ve not asked, but demanded: “But what’re you doing to take care of yourself?”

How? In my case, cancer-coping has included new sources of music.*

How else? "It depends." What works for you? Maybe you want walks in nature. For me, joy from jumping into the spring-fed, chlorine-free waters of Austin’s urban-jewel pools Barton Springs Pool** and Deep Eddy Pool** have supplied me my weekly dosage of aquatic endorphins (called “endolphins” in my household).


Need nature nurture?

Clearly, cancer’s emergence into your world mandates measures to assure that you get your personal forms of “oxygen” (whatever they might be).

So, don’t be numb to your nurture-needs. Ask yourself (and perhaps also wise-ones who know you), what do I want and need? And then take action to supply your nature, music, sanity, energy, sanctity, or other requirements, as indirect enablement of your caregiving quest.


[Photograph of Oregon coastline courtesy and copyright www.larrybugen.com.]

* Thank you for your free, Internet-delivered stream, ye uber-jazz, uber-soul, and best-local-radio-station on the planet source www.WWOZ.org of New Orleans. Thanks for your Internet-only mostly-jazz 3d-beacon “KUT3,” oh ye www.KUT.org of Austin.

** www.sosalliance.org and www.deepeddy.org